The Grump Zombie

My day started like the way many fairy tales do: happily.

I woke up this morning in the most comfortable slant where my pillow was moulded just right and my blanket hugged my body in a cool non creepy way. My brain replayed scenes from my adventurous dream while the air floated happily around me summoning me to consciousness.

 In every possible way this was me waking up on the right side of the bed. It was one of those days where my hair and I were friends and I kept the first outfit I tried on.

And then I was bitten (metaphorically of course) by the grump zombie. My sister.

Grump Zombies didn’t decide to become monsters, it just happens when they are bitten by another zombie. She turned over night it seems. She had a crap night, crap dreams, woke up in a crap position with her socks sliding off her feet and BAM! She turned into the grump that would make other happy peoples days turn into one big bad mood.

The theory of the grump zombie is more of a cycle than an irritable take over, it’s basically the movement of grumpiness from person to person. Grumpiness is a package that gets passed around, the only way to get rid of your grump zombie that takes over your power to resist an eye roll is to pass it on and make some happy person around you your victim. This morning it was me.

I was the bitten this morning over untouched dirty dishes that were made the night before.I repeat, the night before.  I made the mistake of not backing down when I should have. The grump set in.

 Once I  turned,  I  later I bit my boyfriend’s head off for having the audacity to tell me to change into a slower lane. There was metaphorical guts everywhere and they weren’t mine!

Then once the most hideous of Grump Zombie’s  had settled within him, he was like a hybrid Grump Zombie. He didn’t have the warning of a dark cloud that I did above his head. In fact, he looked normal, acted normal (mostly) and then BAM his grump zombie was all knives and ropes.  His flat mate  Dixi didn’t stand a chance, especially after  not doing the laundry.

And so the cycle continues, but what do I care, that’s someone else’s problem. For now.