Old people smell funny

At some unspecific age the human begins to “get old”. Getting old isn’t always about wrinkles and hip replacements (to my knowledge). It’s also about certain traits that only come to you once you’ve hit this unspecific age. It’s the growing need to put moth balls in your closet, as if all of a sudden you’re trying to fend off some massive moth attack; It’s the need to have a unisex haircut, mom jeans, 7 pairs of prescription glasses and “walking shoes”.

Old people were (presumably) young people at some stage of their lives, and chances are that moth balls were not that large of a requirement then. Another old people phenomenon is the “ I must wear tighter-higher-unshapley jeans” phase. This interests me because I can never quite understand where they even buy these from.

Imagine that in a shop window “Sale on tight at the top, unshapely at the bottom blue jeans”. I see the mannequin as having a bit of a boep.

My personal favourite is that old people love to read road signs and billboard out loud. For some reason this is one of the things my mother enjoys doing. Only God knows why... She’s definitely NOT old.

But for your enjoyment a typical example sounds a bit like this: “Do you require a plumber? Call Albert.” Then comes the commentary: “ You know we need a plumber but your father won’t call one, he says he’ll do it himself and I’ve waited and waited and now it’s been a year and our toilet in the guest room wont flush...”

But what do I know right. My time will come when I’ll find the appeal in shapleless jeans  and unisex haircuts and decoupage. Oh and moth balls. Obviously.